The Manventure according to James (the non-synoptic version)

During the reading break was the manventure, and the men went on the manventure and they invented the manventure and they went on the manventure that they invented.

It so happened that Jeremiah, Nathan, Marcus, Timothy and Justice were residing in the town of Qwanoes upon a dark and dismal afternoon.

Now Jeremiah, Nathan, Marcus, Timothy, and Justice were all sons of Momma Badke, who was the son of Grandma voth who was in her 100th year of life.

Now it happened that there were five large cattle grazing in the desert of the Q. In anger Marcus took out his sword which was four feet in length and slaughtered the cattle in his anger.

After dragging the carcasses three miles into the wilderness the brothers erected a tower on a hill outlooking the sea of shining waters.

The men kindled a fire and roasted the cattle whole and Justin said,"Men this meat that we have thus cooked upon the fire that we have kindled now shall we eat with glad hearts."

And they ate and told many tales of the year past and fell asleep in the light of the dying fire.

(Some of the earliest and most reliable manuscripts don't include this next part)

And it so happened that later that night Nathan arose from his sleep and fought two cougars that had advanced upon his brothers and he killed the cougars with his bare hands. And thus he was no longer considered the worst person in the world.