In my brokenness complete...

“Truly, truly, I say to you, whatever you ask of the Father in my name, he will give it to you.” (John 16:23).

I remember reading former Kaleo student’s blogs in the summer and I noticed a trend. Student would ask God to be broken; God would ‘break’ the student, student would come out of the experience having grown and deepened in their faith.

That being said, at the beginning of the year I asked God to break me. I don’t think I fully knew what I meant by that at the time. I knew it had to do with something difficult happening causing to throw myself at the feet of Jesus. I just didn’t know what it would look like or what it should look like.

As the year progressed I was starting to think that there wasn’t going to be a breaking point for me. I was starting to think that God didn’t have any hard things for me this year. I remember praying for tears to cry for the pain of others. The tears didn’t come.

This week things changed. I’m not going to go into any details, but just know that God broke me. I’ve never had such a bittersweet feeling about an answered prayer.

Being broken by God meant letting go of something I really didn’t want to let go of. Being broken by God meant having Him demand surrender in an area I didn’t want to let go of. Being broken by God also meant that God could now raise me up and form me closer to his image.

About those tears I was praying for, they came. I wrote in the prayer room, “Through these tears I will surrender and know that God is enough.”

I remember the words of the writer of Hebrews

“My son, do not lightly regard the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives” (Hebrews 12:5b-6)

Pray for strength for me, and continued surrender of all areas of my life to our Father.

“The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”

Of movies and mornings

This week is one that I will not soon forget. I won’t soon forget it because a lot of it is on DVD for me to watch long after I leave Kaleo. We were in our Old Testament Literature class this week taught by Don Taylor.

The week was busy to say the least. Not only did we have to learn the entire theological history of the Old Testament, we also had to wake a movie portraying the main turning points. The movie took up virtually all my time after class.

Last week I wrote about slowing down and taking time to just “be” with God. It was frustrating to still be so busy throughout the whole week.

On Saturday though things felt better. All my work was done for the week. At 7:00am on Saturday morning Jeremy and me went down to the dock to read/ pray. It was such a good time for me. I haven’t been seeing too many sunrises since I’ve been here; I’ve been seeing a lot of the night, but missing the mornings.

There’s something about mornings that I love. Something about breathing in the crisp cold air as I look out across the water, all the while reading the words of the God who made it all.

Pray with us this week as we are doing a 24/7 week of prayer. Can’t wait to see what God has in store. I just hope that our small imaginations don’t limit what he does.

Hello those who are still reading this blog. This week was packed full of so much it’s hard to know where to start. We were on reading break this week. That meant a lot of things for a lot of people, but for Matthew and me it meant a trip to the mainland. I thought the weekend would be relaxing and I would get a lot homework done.

I got a lot of homework done, but the week was far from relaxing. I think my average bedtime was somewhere around 3am. I did quite a bit of stuff… Ethos (youth church), Boston Pizza, Red Robbins, SFU roof climbing, Downtown Vancouver, saw Lucas Grabeel (High school Musical), set of the movie santa paws, waterfront, youthgroup – ask anything night, boston pizza, walmart, mcdonalds, red robbings, ferry, and finally home.

Once I got home I stayed up til 6:00am writing a hermeneutics paper. It was tiring but I like the idea of being up all night working on a paper. On the weekend I counseled a group of junior high boys, Josh, Tyson, Jake, Liam, and Russell. It was a really busy weekend.

It’s been hard being so busy. I’m getting an urge to slow down right now and just spend some alone time somewhere. It’s hard to make the time to do it. This week is going to be pretty full. I feel like I need to go on a walk with God this week. There have been too many distractions; I don’t like it. I want to know him deeper

Salts crew

View from up top

Tofino

Briercrest Boys

Points were turned... praise God.

This week was unreal, specifically the first half. Kaleo went surfing in Tofino. I shared in my last post that it was time for a turning point. This week was just that. Last week I wrote…

I really hope that Justin’s openness is contagious to the group this week. We need it desperately.

God answered my prayers in ways I never even imagined. The chapel the first night was unreal. Josh shared his story shared with honesty and openness that brought the room to tears. We prayed, we encouraged, and we sang songs of praise.

I also wrote last week…

Pray for me that I will be open to the Spirit’s prompting this week. I feel like I’ve been holding back parts of myself from the group or holding back things I have to offer. Pray that I’ll be able to really give myself to this group of people.

I didn’t think I would share my testimony this week. Or any time this semester for that matter. I never really thought I had much of a story. I’ve had a life free from many of the hardships others deal with regularly. I didn’t think my story was yet appropriate in the context I was in.

Then, on the second night Jim asked for a story of someone who had just been lavished with God’s love for his or her whole life. My heart started racing, it was time for me to tell my story. So I told it.

It was so amazing to speak out my story to remember and think about how God has so blessed me. It was so encouraging to remember the deeds of the Lord in my life and to be surrounded by a group of people wanting to celebrate with me.

Getting home from surfing the chapels and time of sharing have been just as powerful. God’s truth and grace are celebrated and walls are being torn down.

Kaleo is forming together, and Christ is being formed in us as we draw near to worship Him.