In my brokenness complete...

“Truly, truly, I say to you, whatever you ask of the Father in my name, he will give it to you.” (John 16:23).

I remember reading former Kaleo student’s blogs in the summer and I noticed a trend. Student would ask God to be broken; God would ‘break’ the student, student would come out of the experience having grown and deepened in their faith.

That being said, at the beginning of the year I asked God to break me. I don’t think I fully knew what I meant by that at the time. I knew it had to do with something difficult happening causing to throw myself at the feet of Jesus. I just didn’t know what it would look like or what it should look like.

As the year progressed I was starting to think that there wasn’t going to be a breaking point for me. I was starting to think that God didn’t have any hard things for me this year. I remember praying for tears to cry for the pain of others. The tears didn’t come.

This week things changed. I’m not going to go into any details, but just know that God broke me. I’ve never had such a bittersweet feeling about an answered prayer.

Being broken by God meant letting go of something I really didn’t want to let go of. Being broken by God meant having Him demand surrender in an area I didn’t want to let go of. Being broken by God also meant that God could now raise me up and form me closer to his image.

About those tears I was praying for, they came. I wrote in the prayer room, “Through these tears I will surrender and know that God is enough.”

I remember the words of the writer of Hebrews

“My son, do not lightly regard the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives” (Hebrews 12:5b-6)

Pray for strength for me, and continued surrender of all areas of my life to our Father.

“The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”